Doing our best

According to Oprah, I have just had an ahh-hah moment. In this case, I realize my only
sibling has family issues of her own that eclipse that of our aging mother. I am not in her position and can't say what I would do. I will admit, I take every escape I can get. Within reason. Mother lives within 1/2 mile of me. My sister trusts me to care for our mother who is still relatively independent, but fading fast. I'm doing my best. So is my sister.

Never Too Old for Compliments

Sometimes it just takes one little thing to open your eyes to something that's been right in front of your face. In this case, the "little thing" was taking my mother to the hair salon to have her hair done.

The woman who does her hair is a lovely woman, I'd guess to be in her late 60's. She is talkative and never fails to tell mother how beautiful her hair is. It is beautiful, thick and a pure white that she wears short in a wash and wear kind of style. As the stylist cut and they talked, I overheard several comments she made to mother, all of which were compliments of sorts on different things. By the tone of her voice, you could tell she was sincere in what she said.

I swear, it seemed that Mom sat a little taller and her face glowed with happiness by the time we left. The kindness of that stylist and the pleasure it gave my mother really hit me. Everyone likes to feel special and noticed. I'm going to make sure she knows she is.

Assistive Technology Now

In previous posts, I have mentioned the need for assistive technology (new and better ways for remaining independent)in the homes of our loved ones who still live alone. Here are a few to ponder.

Medic Alert is a system that has been around for awhile and works through a monitoring system by a pendant or bracelet worn by the individual. If the individual wanders away, as in the case of dementia patients, when someone encounters that person, there is an 800 number to call.

Another monitoring system called Quiet Care, uses small infrared sensors placed throughout the home to monitor the senior's activities. There are no cameras or intrusions of privacy, and the senior does not have to interact with the system. Several things the system can do: monitor taking daily medications, home temperature, bathroom frequency, sleeping habits, eating schedules, fall detection and other potential accidents. This data is fed to a computer program that analyzes the patterns, and notifies the family caregiver when the pattern deviates from an established baseline.

Xanboo System utilizes a more comprehensive monitoring system, using cameras, door sensors and home automation controls, that can issue alerts, turn on lights, monitor door exits, and send text messages and video clips to a caregivers cell phone or computer. For more on this system that can be self installed, go to tsi.xanboo.com.

Long Term Care Community Diversion Program

Have you heard about the Long Term Care Community Diversion Program? The Diversion Program is designed to provide community-based services to people who would qualify for Medicaid nursing home placement. Services include long term care services, and Medicaid-covered medical services.

The way it works is that managed care organizations and other qualified providers contract with the State and receive a capitated payment to provide, manage and coordinate the enrollee's full continuum of care. The objective is to provide frail elders with safe, appropriate community based care alternatives in lieu of nursing home placement at a cost less than Medicaid nursing home care.

Qualifying terms include:
1. Age 65 or older
2. Dual eligibility for Medicaid & Medicare Part A and B
3. Live in the authorized program area
4. Be determined to be at nursing home level of care and meet one or more
established critical criteria by the Comprehensive Assessment Review and
Evaluation for Long Term Care Services (CARES)unit at the Department of Elder
Affairs.

For more information, contact your local CARES office.

Health Pro Shortage

By 2030, one in every five adults will be age 65 or older. Right now, between 30 million and 50 million family, friends and others tend to aging parents and other older individuals. We, as Americans, are facing an impending crisis as the growing number of older patients, who are living longer and face more complex health care needs, outpaces the health care providers capable of treating them.

With a health care work force too small and unprepared for the deluge to come, training for the basics in geriatric care for every provider (not just specialists) and direct care providers, is desperately needed to fill the expanding void. Family and informal caregivers need more preparation and information to ease the stress that comes with caring for loved ones.

The solutions to the problem won't happen over night. Planning is still the answer and I encourage you to do just that.

Change for Working Women

Several provocative questions were raised in an article by Terry Neese on Examiner.com. I particularly liked her opening statement. "Women have brains and are looking for a president whose agenda will address real issues in the real world." Titled "5 Reforms for 21st Century Women", Neese takes a look at what our government does for the working woman and her commentary of what it should be doing.

Today's American women need policy change that provides solutions for women juggling child care, aging parents and economic conditions. The benefits allotted to full time workers seem to win out over part time workers. Go to www.examiner.com for more on this subject.

Faith is Enough

One of the reasons I started a non profit support group for caregivers of the aging was due to caring for my own parents. My father passed away early in 2005. My mother has since moved close to my husband and me. We have our ups and downs and today was more of a downer for me.

My sister lives close to two thousand miles from us but she talks to mother every day. It's not always convenient for her but just a few minutes on the phone with Mom and it reassures her of how things are going. Of, course, she hears just one side of the day. Today, she picked up on Mom's hearing problem.

Mom has difficulty hearing and will NOT admit to that fact. What do you do when conversations just pass her by? I've tried several suggestions to no avail and just today, it hit home how much her memory is failing. Not only does she not remember my suggestions, she doesn't remember the problem!

I've spoken of the memory testing and memory loss in previous posts. She had agreed to testing then changed her mind. My sister has noticed the lapses and mentioned it to me this evening on the phone.

I'm getting through each day and wouldn't trade a minute with my mother. But I pray for patience and more than enough love to see us through. Please keep us in your prayers. I hope my faith is enough.