Free Family Caregiver Teleclass

November is National Family Caregivers Month. I know I'm a bit premature, but they are sponsoring a FREE Family Caregiver Teleclass in two parts to teach family caregivers better communication with healthcare professionals. This in turn, will help the caregiver to become better healthcare advocates.

To participate by phone you will call a toll free number, and by internet, a corresponding powerpoint presentation will be available. Classes are one hour and held November 6th and November 13th. For registration information for the FREE Communicating Effectively TeleClass, send an e-mail that includes your name, phone number, and e-mail address to: teleclass@thefamilycaregiver.org or call 800/896-3650.

Making a Difference

Anyone who ever started a non-profit organization would be aware of the desire to make a difference. I am not sure of the statistics, but it is my guess that not even 50% of non-profits or "charities" even succeed or stay in business past the first year. They depend on grant money or donations, and fundraisers are held for so many organizations, the money donated is spread very thin.

Family and Friends of the Aging is a non-profit organization begun as an online support group for caregivers of the aging. Since its conception, my dreams and goals for the group have shifted to more realistic avenues. Many caregivers, like me, find themselves with additional responsibilities and expenses, yet lack of work in this slow economy. Family caregivers don't just need to vent to other caregivers, they need to be educated in a way to give loving care while still being able to earn a living! There must be a way...and I am dedicated to finding it and delivering the education to members of FFAI.

Caregivers - United in Purpose

This blog's namesake, Family & Friends of the Aging (FFAI), is a non-profit 501(3)C corporation. My dream is to reach caregivers of the aging all over the world. I understand the sacrifices and concerns many of you face. Yet, there are things we could teach each other and help millions more to understand.

I'm working on the website for FFAI and hope to have it published in a few weeks. I'd love to hear from you about your experiences in caregiving. But most of all, I want to hear about YOU. How you became the caregiver, how you feel both physically and emotionally, what you do to relieve stress,and how you are planning for your own "golden years".

At the risk of sounding corney, we are all in this together. Thus, the tagline for FFAI, "United in Purpose". I truly believe we are.

UPDATE:
As caregiver to an aging parent, one of the avenues I've been exploring is a way to make money online. This would allow me the flexibility to be available when my mother needs me as well as provide the income that I need for my family. So far, my research has uncovered the typical "get rich schemes", as well as some interesting learning possibilities for online marketing. One thing they can't guarantee is making money from pursuing your passion.

Faith is Enough

One of the reasons I started a non profit support group for caregivers of the aging was due to caring for my own parents. My father passed away early in 2005. My mother has since moved close to my husband and me. We have our ups and downs and today was more of a downer for me.

My sister lives close to two thousand miles from us but she talks to mother every day. It's not always convenient for her but just a few minutes on the phone with Mom and it reassures her of how things are going. Of, course, she hears just one side of the day. Today, she picked up on Mom's hearing problem.

Mom has difficulty hearing and will NOT admit to that fact. What do you do when conversations just pass her by? I've tried several suggestions to no avail and just today, it hit home how much her memory is failing. Not only does she not remember my suggestions, she doesn't remember the problem!

I've spoken of the memory testing and memory loss in previous posts. She had agreed to testing then changed her mind. My sister has noticed the lapses and mentioned it to me this evening on the phone.

I'm getting through each day and wouldn't trade a minute with my mother. But I pray for patience and more than enough love to see us through. Please keep us in your prayers. I hope my faith is enough.

Safety at Home

As I've grown older,I notice my steps are not as sure as when I was young. Walking over uneven ground outdoors, climbing up steps, getting in and out of the bathtub, are all activities that leave me unconsciously reaching to steady myself.

When we remodeled our master bath, we installed grab bars, thinking ahead for the years to come. Although my husband and I were still 20 years from retirement, I quickly knew they were a real blessing! Down the road, there are other locations throughout the house where I envision a grab bar to be added.

Many safety issues in the home become apparent when we are caregivers to the elderly. Because some of our parents have poor eyesight or body's ravaged by arthritis or other health problems,several things can and should be done to increase mobility if the aging are to continue living alone.
These are: 1) Ensure proper lighting.
2) Make the floors non-skid
3) Install grab bars where there's danger of falling
4) Make the main rooms level;eliminate steps where possible
5) Make doorways and hallways wide enough to accommodate wheelchairs
6) Investigate technology for lowering or raising counters and cook
surface
The demand for aging in place will undoubtedly continue, so modifying your home to meet the demand makes sense all around.

PBS Special

If you haven't already heard, PBS is airing a two-hour special on Wednesday night called "Caring for Your Parents". In the program, they will be talking with actual caregivers about their situations and experiences. Following the program, there will be a 30 minute panel discussion by doctors and other experts that I hope will give more useful information and not just the same rhetoric we hear everyday. Of course, there may not be anything different to tell us. That remains to be seen.

Tax Update

The weekend is coming to an end and my tax duties for my mother haven't begun. Several things slipped into the 48 hours and no matter what I do, I can't stretch the time! I've looked over the paperwork and it doesn't seem real lengthy and involved. And let's face it, the income of the elderly (at least the ones I'm working with) is not that great, requiring complicated accounting practices. It looks pretty simple and I will get on with it.

That said, this brings me to, once again, sound the "plan ahead alarm" for financial planning . The caregivers of the aging are right at the time when they should be mindful of the performance of their retirement accounts, IRAs, 401Ks, and annuities. Anything with a beneficiary, life insurance included, should be looked at regularly and updated as need be for births,deaths, marriages, and divorces. Plan also for your own care when the time comes. You needn't be a millionaire to apply financial planning. It's all a matter of your money, and where you want it to go. If you need a financial advisor, ask your insurance agent or a trusted friend for a reference.

Look Who's Moving In

More baby boomers are preparing to care for their aging parents by remodeling their living accommodations. According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution, boomers are remodeling or building new homes to accommodate parents now or in the future. From efficiency apartments to entire suites with elevator access, children of aging parents are accepting responsibility in providing a suitable living arrangement for their family.

Not all adult children can or will accept the additional financial burden to the budget. And this is acceptable but should be discussed between the family members BEFORE the need occurs. If children remain at home, they should be considered in the equation and not be expected to shoulder a major portion of care for the elderly family member. Privacy for all is an important component. No matter what age, children should, however, be expected to contribute their share to household maintenance as usual, and, in my opinion, companionship to the grandparent on a regular basis should be STRONGLY encouraged.

This type of living arrangement is not for every family. But more American caregivers are finding it may be the only realistic way to provide care for their aging parents.

A closer look at Mom and Dad

How the holidays have changed for those of us whose aging parents live more than a thousand miles away.

Although I talk with my own mom nearly every day by phone, there’s nothing like a personal visit to give me the real picture of just how she’s doing—how forgetful she’s becoming, how she’s getting along physically.

The Lawrenceville, Kansas Journal-World offers some excellent suggestions for children of aging parents, including how to recognize certain problems and what to say and do.

It’s difficult to be so far away from the ones you love and respect, and I’m fortunate that my sister, in the same town, is caregiver to my mother. It gives me peace of mind but doesn’t negate my own responsibility.

For now, that has pretty much become daily phone calls giving Mom a chance to talk as her physical limitations begin to impact how much she can socialize with others.

As we look ahead to a year of uncertainty, I can only say: Thanks, Sis, and happy New Year, Mom.

--Alene Archer, Board Member--Family & Friends of the Aging

http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2007/dec/24/gatherings_afford_chance_ensure_mom_dad_doing_ok/?city_local