Kids Out, Parents In

Several things have been going on in my world that interfered with the writing of this blog. I hope to be back on track from now on and bring you up to speed with the aging news as I see it.
It seems more aging parents are moving in with their adult children than ever before. The Orange County Register reported that a study begun in 1997 by a UC Irvine professor, show that economic conditions are a catalyst for combining households as baby boomers retire. John L Graham, a marketing and international business professor,says the pension and healthcare systems are falling apart. You can read more on Professor Graham's work at www.ocregister.com.

Look Who's Moving In

More baby boomers are preparing to care for their aging parents by remodeling their living accommodations. According to the Atlanta Journal Constitution, boomers are remodeling or building new homes to accommodate parents now or in the future. From efficiency apartments to entire suites with elevator access, children of aging parents are accepting responsibility in providing a suitable living arrangement for their family.

Not all adult children can or will accept the additional financial burden to the budget. And this is acceptable but should be discussed between the family members BEFORE the need occurs. If children remain at home, they should be considered in the equation and not be expected to shoulder a major portion of care for the elderly family member. Privacy for all is an important component. No matter what age, children should, however, be expected to contribute their share to household maintenance as usual, and, in my opinion, companionship to the grandparent on a regular basis should be STRONGLY encouraged.

This type of living arrangement is not for every family. But more American caregivers are finding it may be the only realistic way to provide care for their aging parents.

Retirement Planning for Caregivers

The number of caregivers in the United States is growing daily. And guess what folks? Most of the caregivers are themselves approaching retirement age. Yes, that's right. We are the Baby Boomers the media talk about.

How many caregivers have plans for their "golden years"? Retirement planning is more than travel plans and how much money is in our 401K. While these are important issues, caring for an aging parent should be a clear reminder to get several important documents in order for ourselves. A Power of Attorney, Living Will, Healthcare Power of Attorney and personal Will are what immediately come to mind. If you already have them in place, make certain they have been updated in keeping with important events in our lives. This would be births, deaths, divorces, remarriages, and job changes to name a few. In addition to your attorney, talk with your accountant or financial advisor if you have one. Tax strategies can change as we reach retirement and tax brackets adjust.

Now is the time to take a serious look at long term care insurance to see if it is right for you. As with any insurance, the time to purchase it is when you don't need it. Once you do, it's too late. Also, check with your insurance advisor to update beneficiaries if necessary.

So, fellow caregivers, I hope I've put a bug in your ear to get busy and begin getting your house in order. And to those who are way ahead of the game, Kudos!

Never Too Soon to Plan

My sister and I began talking with Mom and Dad about health proxies and power of attorney long before Dad spent his final years in a wheel chair. Rheumatoid arthritis struck at age 45, followed in later years by strokes and other conditions. Our mother became his primary caregiver. My sister and I both lived hundreds of miles away from our parents. This made it even more important that we talk about what their preferences were as age and illness progressed. Like many other seniors, they wanted to stay at home as long as possible. Insisted on it, in fact. We looked at their financial information, insurances, health plans, wills and every piece of the puzzle to plan for the years ahead.

Boomers everywhere who have elderly parents need to initiate the conversation on living preferences and care BEFORE it becomes necessary. According to research by the AARP, too many still wait until a crisis strikes and try to make major changes to our loved ones lives. It's not always easy, I'll admit. If Dad doesn't want to discuss it, work on Mom and try to ease into things. Gather articles from the newspaper or the internet on topics you want to discuss with them. Use these while you talk or leave them to read at a later time. There may not be as much resistance as you think once you break the ice. Knowing how to plan can give enormous peace of mind to all involved.