When Are The Driving Days Over?

My family is very important to me. Just as when my children were young, now I am concerned about my elderly parent and in-laws.
We are at the crossroads of how to get my father-in-law to stop driving. In all my years of dealing with the elderly, somehow things don't always work out the way experts advise. And I'm one of the experts! So when are the driving days over?

My 88 year old father-in-law became disoriented this afternoon on his way to our home. He and my mother-in-law left home at 4:05 pm, were to pick up a pizza and be to our home easily by 5:00 pm. At 5:45, my husband left to look for them, thinking they may have had a flat tire or some other car problem. His parents arrived at 6:00 pm, shakey but none the worse for wear. I came to find out he had passed our street several times and gotten "lost" in a school parking area. Yes, it sounds preposterous but it's true.

In his own words, my father-in-law said " I think my driving days are over". If it's only that easy. I'll see it when I believe it.

The 40-70 Rule

I was happy to see in the Port Clinton News where a national company has started a campaign urging adult children to initiate conversation with their older parents about the "delicate" issues. By delicate, I mean when to stop driving, and money, among others.

Home Instead Senior Care has called its public education campaign the "40-70 Rule". If you are 40 and your parent is 70, it's time to begin the conversation on their wishes as they age. As I wrote in my post Never Too Soon To Plan, this is not always easy. Parents don't always want to discuss sensitive issues with their children. Some may not see their children as adults and that is a big hurdle to get past. On the other hand, many adult children don't want to get involved early and find themselves in crisis mode when they must be involved.

The Home Instead campaign has a "40-70 Rule" guide they will give you for free. According to the arcticle in The Port Clinton News, the guide provides many tips and conversation starters to help break the conversation barrier. You can pick one up at your local Home Instead Senior Care office or call 877.733.5050. You can also visit online at www.4070talk.com.