Keep the Faith

As each day goes by, I think about what options we have if my mother's health declines or just what the best living arrangement is for her. Wealthy aging parents in good health don't pose such a problem...not that mother is a problem. But things need to be seen as they are. Reality is often hard to swallow.

In my mind, I have planned for everything. Financially, we are limited to the size of our home or what we can afford for long term care, should that become necessary.
We don't talk about it all the time, but several times, Mom has voiced her greatest fear, that of running out of money. This is typical of the elderly, but I try to reassure her that as long as I am livng, she will be cared for.
Like many others, my faith keeps me strong.

Not Yor Mamma, Mother

I just had a "venting session" with my husband about an episode with my mother today. When did I become the parent? Well, maybe I'm not totally there yet, but it's certainly progressing that way.

Let me start this by saying how thankful I am that my mother has been cognizant of the issues that beset the elderly, such as the inability to keep things straight financially. She still writes checks and pays her bills. It is an important step to retaining independence. Every few months, a bill gets misplaced, but it's not that often and she usually realizes something is wrong with the next billing...just not what happened. Of, course, that's when I get called in. (What she doesn't know is that I check her bank statements online to monitor payments to utilities). Today, though, she produced bank statements and other financial information to an insurance agent who cold called her.

When Mom told me about this, I was stunned. We had talked about NOT giving out personal information to anyone. She seemed to feel this was different,and although she told the agent that her daughter took care of her business, she said "I knew you'd be mad". I wasn't mad, Mom. I am scared. I feel that you are so happy to talk to someone, you can be coerced, ever so innocently, into giving private information to anyone. You don't stand a chance against a real con artist... and I don't know how to protect you without taking away your independence. . As I said in my venting session to my husband, I feel as if I'm the parent, BUT I'M NOT!!